Say Hello to the ‘Blandito’ (Oh, Yes, it’s What You Think it is)

Okay, just look at it. We all know that’s a vagina. (Okay, okay – technically, it’s a vulva but let’s just get that out of the way now, nitpickers.) Anyway, the Italian designers Oradaria Design said this about their creation, a sofa alternative:

“blandito® comes from an idea. An idea and a few means: a fabric stockist, a do-it-yourself shop, an ironmongery, a sewing machine, a hammer, 2 sprays, a garden hose, 2 foam sheets, 20 eyelets, 8 kg of polyester staple fiber, 4 tapestry wooden balls, 2 m of elastic cord, a lot of patience, fantasy, enthusiasm and sleepless nights.

This is blandito.

From a chat about the traditional living room, arose the idea to completely redesign the sofa morphology. Immediately a lot of sketches, thoughts, questions: if this sofa had no legs? Neither arms, nor back? If it was a big pillow? And if this pillow could be folded, wrapped, twisted as much as you like? And if it was 360° useful?”

Alright, now that we’ve gotten their sofa philosophizing out of the way, we can really get into the nitty gritty of what is essentially a giant foldable dog beg. More specifically, a vagina-shaped giant foldable dog bed. This is the Snuggie’s bastard child – see what you have wrought, arrogant humans? This is against nature. Seriously, conservative Republicans should be legislating against this affront to moral standards.

If you were like me and thought to yourself, “What? How bad could it possibly be?” Just take a look at the pictures below and see for yourself (and the copy definitely doesn’t help matters).

This is the Blandito:

2016-03-09_0553 2016-03-09_0554 2016-03-09_0555

No, no, no, no, no.

What the hell. I’m sorry, why cant we sit on a regular couch like regular people? Do you want to experience birth and re-enter into the world in this? I mean, for some guys (and ladies) this might be the closest they ever come to a vagina. So, maybe it would be a good gift for the favorite virgin in your life.

Otherwise, I’m not sure why I’d want this giant thing taking up serious real estate in my apartment. Unless I really wanted to spoil my cat or dog (that I don’t have).

I don’t know, guys. I’m all for female empowerment but this is too much. TOO MUCH. And now I want tacos.

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