It Turns Out that Air Travel is Better When You Wear Real Pants

If you make the choice to be stuffed into a flying metal tube with at least 100 other people, may the travel gods have mercy on your soul. You can’t change certain things about air travel: grumpy TSA agents, overpaying for snacks in the airport stores, limited leg room on the planes, some dick reclining his seat into your knees, or that last-minute cancellation by an airline. Yeah, your life might suck a little more when you’re at the airport – more so than your regular-life suckiness. So, in order to combat all the things you can’t control about air travel, focus on what you can control which is pretty much limited to your outfit choice and your attitude.

Here’s what I’ve learned about air travel style at the ripe old age of 25.

1. Dress up.
Obviously, don’t take this to the extreme and wear a prom or wedding dress unless you are part of a musical flash mob or something. You are an American (if you’re not, disregard) – and as such, it is your God-given right to dress like a slob. It’s right between the Right to Free Speech and the Right to Bear Arms. You were given a pamphlet upon your birth into this great nation that explained that from this day forward, your infant style will dictate your adulthood style: onesies, mostly pajamas, Uggs-like shoe  slippers, leggings, and other formless clothing you could get away with pooping in with nobody the wiser.

But, there’s something to be said for being comfortable AND being slightly put together. Not even Pinterest-board worthy fashions or anything – just simply put on real pants and real shoes. We need to keep the slobbishness at bay. I just think we could move away from being sea slugs. Sea slugs are cool and all but I feel like we should assume our human form when traveling,

2. Wear clothes that are easy to strip off.

I don’t mean strip down in a sexy way although I’m sure the TSA agents would approve of that. I just mean the ease of clothing removal should be a factor when you’re considering your outfit choices for the airport. You need to be efficient.

God knows we have all been stuck behind some Instagram fashion model type who decided today was the day she had to wear her vintage lace up boots or the dude who has to go through the scanner ten times because he forgets he’s wearing cargo pants with small metal accessories in each pocket. He’s basically a special advent calendar just for the TSA.

Clothes need to be strippable.
3. Wear layers, dummy.
If you’re anything like me, you are always cold but you also can’t deal with being too hot. Temperature extremes in the airport and on the plane are not a joke. I spent my flight this morning sitting on my hands and shivering because even my jacket couldn’t save me from the below freezing plane temperature. Sure, it’s all fun and games until you lose a finger from frostbite and then ten minutes later pass out from heat exhaustion.

4. A scarf.
I like to be as comfortable as possible on a plane (although I do wear regular clothes with pockets and non-Uggs boots). The solution for comfort is a scarf. A scarf is just a socially acceptable wearable blanket and you should take full advantage of this while traveling.

Has anyone in the history of mankind ever regretted wearing a scarf? No. You can even wear them during summer and be Sophia Loren. Or you could wear one during the winter and have an incredibly warm, snuggly neck region.

The choice is yours.

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