Don’t ever let anyone tell you that social media is a smokescreen, a gilded mirror we hold up not to look at ourselves, but to show other people our best, most-curated selves with filters that make us look tan and beautiful. (Sidenote: let me know when they invent filters for personalities because I’d really like to start being more cool and aloof.)
The haters are wrong, social media always reflects an accurate reality. And it is great for your self-esteem and feeling good about yourself. Take Instagram. Sure, there are tons of models who remind you that your clavicle will never be not sharp enough to cut through a wheel of brie. THANKS, KARLIE KLOSS. Sure, there are seemingly jobless people whose sole purpose in life is posting photos of their alcoholic drinks in exotic places. Sure, it seems like everyone but you is having fun all the time. Sure, people are unfairly shoving their life filled with corgis in your face. These unavoidable aspects of Instagram can give you a life-threatening case of FOMO or inspire envy, but there are also many small joys associated with social media.
For example, I cannot be the only person on Instagram that has Insta friends that I’ve never met in real life. We just mutually like each others’ photos, excessively emoji-bomb each other, and leave nice comments. I don’t know their real names but damn, they can take a great macro shot of latte foam or show the intricate details of their beard hairs in the most beautiful way.
There are other joys, too. Like when a celebrity notices your plebe self mucking around with the other lower classes and tosses you some attention, which you lap up like so many dehydrated kittens. My most recent cat-themed Instagram photo was taken a week ago and that picture was liked by none other than SMUSHBALL. Aka, Dan Bilzerian’s cat if you live under a rock (please, take me in with you, I wish to depart from this world of internets).
Here’s the basic picture in question:
And here are the RECEIPTS:
If you’re unaware, Dan Bilzerian is a rich trust fund kid who plays poker, uses both busty models and guns as props in his ridiculous photos, and also owns an amazing feline creature named Smushball. Smushball is famous in his own right for his predilection for nestling in between models’ breasts and for having an angry, fluffy visage that has inspired great fanfare. And so now you know why Smushball ‘liking’ my photo is a life-changing moment for me.
I would have been irritated if Dan Bilzerian had been the one to actually like the photo because he is the perfect example of what happens when the concept of masculinity is pushed to its extremely fragile limits. With that said, I can’t hate a guy with a cat named Smushball. And therefore, I will let the validation of a ‘like’ from an internet-famous cat wash down over me.
It feels good.
Here is Bilzerian with his better half, Smushball:
A photo posted by @smushball on
And here is Smushball in all his glory:
I don’t care if celebrities see or like my Instagram photos but a celebrity cat? Hell yeah. My self-esteem is at a 10, now. Thank you, Smushball. Thank you for being generous and bestowing upon me the honor of a ‘like’. I know such a regal god doesn’t simply throw around ‘likes’ for just any peasant. Today, I am that special peasant.