1. The Stalker Approach
Step 1. Create Tinder account.
Step 2. Swipe right.
Step 3. Find your Match.
Step 4. Find him on Facebook.
Step 5. Like a photo of him from 2009.
Step 6. It’s over.
2. The Life Plan Approach.
Let him know that you’re not interested in taking things slow because according to everything your mother has ever told you, all of your eggs are dying and it’s time to procreate, like now. Let him know you’re looking for the “one” and your decision time is limited to two dates MAX.
3. The “Birth Control is for Control Freaks” Approach.
Every man loves the risk taker, but when it comes to birth control, most men like women who know exactly what kind of chance they’re taking at all times. If you’re trying to get rid of this dude, let him know you’re into the Russian roulette world of baby creation. Maybe you’ll get pregnant, maybe you won’t. Why deny your human right to take chances with the use of things like birth control and condoms? Yolo, man.